Candy Cranks

All types rocked up to the Melburn Roobaix,

Bikes spread out like courses at a casino buffet,

With both practical and comical outfits on display,

The two cows on a tandem taking the cake.

The Melbourne skies conveyed a pale shade of grey,

The hopes of riders enough to keep the rain at bay.

The start line was adorned with lyrca, gears, and suspension.

This was by no means a fixie convention,

Which I believe was precisely the organiser’s intention;

To welcome all riders, no matter what their dimensions.

Us Sydney crew met up and banded together,

Lamenting our hometown and cursing the weather,

And those bloody cobble stones that went on forever!

The locals didn’t seem to mind however,

“So we have four seasons in one day? Whatever…”

They said armed with layers – oh how very clever!

Hunger pains set in about half way through,

And the lure of Brunswick St was too good to refuse.

There were Souvlakis to eat, and shops to peruse,

And so Jay and I made the call to part from our crew.

After lunch was devoured, and debt accrued,

We rejoined the ride; energy renewed.

We still managed to (almost) complete the map,

With some help from the locals, who kept us on track;

Cuz for us Sydney folk, who didn’t know the traps,

Some sectors were as hard to find as a needle in a haystack.

Oh, and did I mention I gave the velodrome a crack?

Despite my reluctance, and fear that I’d crash.

In true Melbourne style the ride finished at a pub

Punters downing beers and lapping up grub,

And bonding as if they belonged to a club.

There were stories to swap, and shoulders to rub.

But man it was smelly – 400 riders in need of a scrub;

Me personally dreaming of a date with a hot tub.

But there was no rest for the wicked; we had a plane to get.

Our weekend of riding was not over yet!

As exhaustion and thigh burn took effect,

Our plan to ride to the airport became a source of regret.

But after a brief pep talk to my legs

I got over the hump and set out again.

As our plane took off, and Melbourne drifted away,

And a sinking sun framed the end of the day,

My energy really began to fray,

Memories swelled and mingled with sweat and pain.

But nonetheless on a high that dwarfed our plane,

As I recounted the beauty of the Melburn Roobaix.